祝福与回忆

朋友们，首先我想说声抱歉如果我在过去有什么不对的。。近来这繁忙的生活真叫大家就快喘不过气来。。一堆堆的压力就快把我们压倒。。昨天在整个路程我想了很久很久，内心不断飘出很多感触与回忆。。。由于自己不是一个万能者，因此不断地在把自己放入你们几个当中的角色与状况想像。。。渐渐地在心中看到很多不同的事物与情景。。。无论我们是谁，无论我们的遭遇怎样，我们依然是个在努力想达到一个小小梦想的人。。。人各有所志，各有所长有如我们的手指。。。人生也不过如此，有长必有短。。。人的心情总会有低落的时候，我们的生活充满种种挑战。。积极地看待这些挑战是有如猛烈的阳光般；悲观地看待有如火海里的悲惨。。心境扮演者决定我们生活的点滴，就好象反映。。。我们不是圣人也不是机器人，我们的能力有限。。生活就是取长补短。。我们要允许自己有犯错与低落的机会，只因为我们是一个普通但独特的自己。。加油加油！！ 我们一起向种种的挑战冲。。无论多难，记得我们不是一个人去面对一切。。。祝福各位。。。

生命态度其中之一

突然觉得自己好久没再写任何的文章。。近来有很多事想透过文字表达，但总感觉好难表达出来。。今天想透过这篇文章述说人生。。前一阵子有好多人都纷纷说就快世界末日了，有的人问我有什么看法或打算，有的人很担心那天的到来，有的人却很期待，有的人完全不在乎。。无论是什么感受，我想在此表达个人看法。。



其实生命的长短不由得我们去决定更由不得我们去判断。。人生的确是在我们掌控之中，但生命却万万不是。。近来报章不断都有自杀的案件，我不知道大家会如何去看待。。完全没感受吗？！我觉得很悲哀。。。我莫名其妙在心中说他们太傻了，还没看清问题就擅自决定自己的生命。。大家是否有曾想过自己是如此珍贵，在你们父母及爱与关心你们人的心中把你们是如何的宝贵。。无论你是谁，我肯定的在真正爱与关心你们的心中，你是多么的宝，你是他们心中的宝贝。。无论我们多大，在父母眼里，我们一直都是小孩。。尝试用将心比心来想想别人的感受。。不要被那些令你受伤，令你害怕，令你失去信心的人拉倒你。。站起来，继续向自己以前的目标前进。。人生应该是用心去享受每个过程，而不是活在自己的世界也不是证明给其他人看你活得多潇洒多本事。。如果人生是为他人的仰慕他人的赞许而努力，值得吗！！



我只不过是一个很普通的人，我所表达的是个人的看法。。我是看见越来越多人都被社会或一些人影响或拉到他们的自尊心与自信心了。。。我也是当中其中之一，我也一样丧失过。。有时真叫人身不由己。。只怪自己的心不够坚强不够果断。。我们应也会能担起一切大小事务的人，应学会不固执于坚持一些没必要的做法与想法，不应该让自己的一分一秒活在伤痛里。。。我还是那句话，说得容易做得难，只因为我们是人。。但一切都是在于我们的态度与看法。。。加油加油，我们一起飞往更成熟的处事态度，我们一起尝试从谷底里爬出来！！

（抱歉，这篇短文应该在上几个月post的，只怪自己一直在拖。。上面提到的自杀事件其中两件分别是韩国明星及马六甲年轻女生在新加坡求学而承受不住的悲伤事件）

与死神搏斗后的领悟

Again, a special feeling want share at here. It is hard to believe what I had experience for last few night, maybe you will think I bluff here.

A tired night after I done my work, when I lay down on my bed and almost enter a second step of REM sleep, an unbelievable thing happen on me... I felt something suck my soul, I heard a weird sound. That situation is really weird. I saw my aunty that one already passed away. I flashback her funeral, I saw her standing somewhere stare at me. I felt my whole body have a weird feeling. I am really scared. I keep screaming there: “God, please don’t bring me go, I still got a lot of thing haven’t settle, I am worry about my mother, God… Please… Please…” After that, I try to use my all energy to pull back everything, I try to awake myself. Finally I successful awake and I feel happy on that moment I wake up, because I still alive. My heart was jump super fast there; I am really scared on that moment too. From this incident, I realize that I am really scared die with regret. I realize that life is so important although it is full of challenge. What I had experience is die is no so easy because we having a lot of things haven’t settle. Try to has a without any regret in your life. Everything passed already, don’t blame for something cannot change already. The important is try to don’t leave any regret for everyday. Life is unpredictable; we should try our best to live without any regret. Learn how to appreciate everything, don’t hesitate too much. In this moment, I only want to say “I love you and don’t lose your way” for the people I care. And lastly, sorry for everything I did wrong.

*My aunty was died without any reason.

我想大多数人都会觉得那是不可能的事或我想太多了。在一个疲倦的夜晚，就在要开始进入梦乡时，一件奇怪的事让我体会了。我常问死了会是怎么一回事，真的一切事情能用死来解决吗？我想告诉那些想用死来解决问题的人，绝对不是。生命其实并不是你想象中那么煎熬的。我深深体会差点失魂的感受。我发觉自己被一样很奇怪的东西抽着，我几乎全身失去能量，我的脑袋非常的挣扎，一阵阵好奇怪的声音不断在我耳旁徘徊。我看见离世好几年的阿姨，我回到她的葬礼，一幕幕不断地出现，我看见她在某个角落一直看着我。我越来越发现自己很辛苦，头好痛好痛，我很害怕就在那刻结束了一切。我不断地大喊，老天爷请不要带我走，我还有很多事情还没解决，我还有很多事情没办到，我还没交代一切，我很担心我的母亲。。我使劲所有力量让自己醒来，那刻真的是很害怕。最后我的毅力总于让我醒了，我的心简直就快跳了出来，真的很怕很怕。。其实生命是如此可贵，我们应该尽量让自己的每一天没有任何遗憾。过去就让它过去，追究也没用了，只会让另一个遗憾发生。与其在一旁抱怨生活有多么地难熬，不如于自己最好的表现展现一切。没有所谓的完美，因为生命本来就不完美。别再犹豫太多了，用自己最好的那面活下去。无非预测生命的长短，因此应学会珍惜一切。在此我想对那些在我心中的人说声我爱你，无论路有多难走，都请你别放弃。最后对那些我曾伤害过的人说声抱歉。

你不是真正的快乐

人群中哭着 你只想变成透明的颜色

你再也不会梦或痛或心动了

你已经决定了 你已经决定了

你静静忍着 紧紧把昨天在拳心握着

而回忆越是甜就是越伤人

越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割

你不是真正的快乐

你的笑只是你穿的保护色

你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了

把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

这世界笑了 于是你合群的一起笑了

当生存是规则 不是你的选择

于是你含着眼泪飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞地走着

你不是真正的快乐

你的笑只是你穿的保护色

你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了

把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐

你的伤从不肯完全的愈合

我站在你左侧 却像隔着银河

难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了 然后才后悔着

你不是真正的快乐

你的笑只是你穿的保护色

你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了

把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐

你的伤从不肯完全的愈合

我站在你左侧 却像隔着银河

难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了

你值得真正的快乐

你应该脱下你穿的保护色

为什么失去了 还要被惩罚呢

能不能就让悲伤全部结束在此刻

重新开始活着

今天在吃着早餐的当儿，我如常地边吃边认真地在听着歌。最让我记忆深刻的一首歌“你不是真正的快乐”，心中莫名地开始思考起来。不知道为什么近来发生很多事，在我身边所关心的朋友也感染这“感冒”。我在想为什么大家都在带着一面面具，为什么大家不妨一起好好地坐下分享彼此的困扰，好让大家一起分担。对，我们应该自立地解决难题，但并不是每件事。与其把问题收在心里，不如讲出来，好让心里没那么难受独自地扛。何谓知心朋友？！我们不应只分享好事而应分享与分担一切。随着时间的流逝，我们不知不觉也跟着改变。最真实的自己究竟在哪里，最真实的你究竟在哪里，我不断在告诉自己必须打开心门接受一切。虽然接受的过程是如此难受，但到了接受那刻才发现事情并不是想象的那么糟。我曾跟自己说过，无论代价有多少，只要为值得你为他付出的人做出改变与牺牲都是值得的。这并不是愚蠢，而是真情。我们不能确保每个人都能乐意接受，但只要对得起良知就足够了。朋友们，是时候出来了，别在隐藏自己了，别再害怕一切一切。生命应该是不断充满挑战的。对于处在少年期的自己，有时还觉得自己很野蛮很固执，为什么一直阻止别人改变原本的自己而从未想过改变他们的因素呢！我想经过昨天认真思考与分析过，我已有所领悟了。我应以最理智与坦诚地接受一切一切。黑暗的不远处一定会有光明，甚至比我们想象的更美好。（亚也）说得对，我们不应活在过去，而该做一些在我们能力范围的事就可以了。一切坏的那面一定也会有好的一面，我们总是碰墙后才会知道痛，因此我们应更珍惜值得我们留恋珍惜的一切。。

Repression month

Finally finish my third final exam in university. I’m a person who have exam phobia. I don’t know why every time having exam sure something happen. This semester is the worst one, I lost someone I love and I lost myself. I was very scared and tired to face it. I try my best to repress all the problems. This is the only way I can face my final exam. Everyday I try my best to smile and act nothing, if I really can’t do it; I will escape to facing others. Dinosaurs, I’m really sorry.

In this repression process, I’m really touching to see someone worry me. This person knows I facing serious problem, she felt guilty when she saw my down mood but she can’t help me. Definitely this person is my roommate. It is because she stays with me, so she can see my real mood in room. She always try her best to help me, she try her best “kei poh” on me. She is the only person know I’m repress myself. She try her best cheer me up, she remind me a lot of things although she has poor memory. She also is the only person can understand what I trying to express. I’m really touching for what you did for me, you no need care whether got help me solve my problem or not. It’s not your responsibility and you still don’t have that ability. I really appreciate what you did for me, that caring is good enough for me. Don’t forget your roommate- me, got her own power. I can handle, just give me time.

Thank you very much, my assistant- Spike. I will try and try the best for everything. I’m very lucky have you as my assistant. Thanks again. Wish you all the best for everything.

Firefly

I think everyone know what firefly is. Firefly is my representative insect in my life.

I think I really like a firefly. You know why?!! Haha..
Firefly is small and hard to find it for nowadays. Besides that, firefly only wills bright the light at the dark place. If you see firefly at bright place, sure you will say it’s only an ugly insect. I’m just like firefly, only give my caring for someone I care and those need it. Some people may think it’s nothing. But for me, it’s really means for me. I like to cheer people up. I like to give caring for others although will get hurt. I’m really stupid, right?! I never feel regret be this character in my life. I really hope I can totally like firefly. I hope I can like firefly has a short and meaningful life. I will continue bring brightness for someone in the “dark” place before I leave this world. I hope for those I really care can understand, this is me “ May Peng”. Please, don’t blame me and make any mistaken on me. Try to understand me; try to see my real feeling. I only hope you guys can appreciate what I did. If you think I’m silly or annoying and you really no need me please just let me know and don’t hurt me. Sometimes my heart really feels tired and scared. I don’t want lose myself; I don’t want lost my heart. I’m just a little firefly, I’m weak but I want be strong in my life. I’m not like the others animals got their own self-defense skills. Firefly really cans bright your life, although it only can bring little light. But its nature light, it’s really come from heart. And I’m really cares and worry you guys. Let me go in your heart and don’t hide yourself anymore. Firefly got insight ability that why sometime she will act weird and sensitive. I'm not powerful but I will try the best.

New member for dinosaurs’ family—Chomper

Finally I can introduce this new member in my dearest dinosaurs’ family--- Chomper.

Chomper is very outgoing, and he is always willing to go on an adventure with his friends. He tries to please his friends as much as possible, and thus is prone to being taken advantage of. He shows fierce loyalty to his friends, and he often openly exclaims his friendship even to those who intimidate him. He is also quite naive, though not quite to the extent of some of the others, such as Ducky or Petrie, and he easily believes what he is told. He is also known to panic easily, particularly when there is risk of someone seeking to harm him. He often feels sensitive about his size. Despite all this, he has a very kind heart, and is most often seen singing the song Feel So Happy in the television series, reflecting his good nature.

Chomper for this century is a girl, but the personality still quite similar.. Ma Lee, welcome to join this warmest dinosaur’s family and hold on together with us. :)