Repression month

Finally finish my third final exam in university. I’m a person who have exam phobia. I don’t know why every time having exam sure something happen. This semester is the worst one, I lost someone I love and I lost myself. I was very scared and tired to face it. I try my best to repress all the problems. This is the only way I can face my final exam. Everyday I try my best to smile and act nothing, if I really can’t do it; I will escape to facing others. Dinosaurs, I’m really sorry.

In this repression process, I’m really touching to see someone worry me. This person knows I facing serious problem, she felt guilty when she saw my down mood but she can’t help me. Definitely this person is my roommate. It is because she stays with me, so she can see my real mood in room. She always try her best to help me, she try her best “kei poh” on me. She is the only person know I’m repress myself. She try her best cheer me up, she remind me a lot of things although she has poor memory. She also is the only person can understand what I trying to express. I’m really touching for what you did for me, you no need care whether got help me solve my problem or not. It’s not your responsibility and you still don’t have that ability. I really appreciate what you did for me, that caring is good enough for me. Don’t forget your roommate- me, got her own power. I can handle, just give me time.

Thank you very much, my assistant- Spike. I will try and try the best for everything. I’m very lucky have you as my assistant. Thanks again. Wish you all the best for everything.

Firefly

I think everyone know what firefly is. Firefly is my representative insect in my life.

I think I really like a firefly. You know why?!! Haha..
Firefly is small and hard to find it for nowadays. Besides that, firefly only wills bright the light at the dark place. If you see firefly at bright place, sure you will say it’s only an ugly insect. I’m just like firefly, only give my caring for someone I care and those need it. Some people may think it’s nothing. But for me, it’s really means for me. I like to cheer people up. I like to give caring for others although will get hurt. I’m really stupid, right?! I never feel regret be this character in my life. I really hope I can totally like firefly. I hope I can like firefly has a short and meaningful life. I will continue bring brightness for someone in the “dark” place before I leave this world. I hope for those I really care can understand, this is me “ May Peng”. Please, don’t blame me and make any mistaken on me. Try to understand me; try to see my real feeling. I only hope you guys can appreciate what I did. If you think I’m silly or annoying and you really no need me please just let me know and don’t hurt me. Sometimes my heart really feels tired and scared. I don’t want lose myself; I don’t want lost my heart. I’m just a little firefly, I’m weak but I want be strong in my life. I’m not like the others animals got their own self-defense skills. Firefly really cans bright your life, although it only can bring little light. But its nature light, it’s really come from heart. And I’m really cares and worry you guys. Let me go in your heart and don’t hide yourself anymore. Firefly got insight ability that why sometime she will act weird and sensitive. I'm not powerful but I will try the best.

New member for dinosaurs’ family—Chomper

Finally I can introduce this new member in my dearest dinosaurs’ family--- Chomper.

Chomper is very outgoing, and he is always willing to go on an adventure with his friends. He tries to please his friends as much as possible, and thus is prone to being taken advantage of. He shows fierce loyalty to his friends, and he often openly exclaims his friendship even to those who intimidate him. He is also quite naive, though not quite to the extent of some of the others, such as Ducky or Petrie, and he easily believes what he is told. He is also known to panic easily, particularly when there is risk of someone seeking to harm him. He often feels sensitive about his size. Despite all this, he has a very kind heart, and is most often seen singing the song Feel So Happy in the television series, reflecting his good nature.

Chomper for this century is a girl, but the personality still quite similar.. Ma Lee, welcome to join this warmest dinosaur’s family and hold on together with us. :)

My holiday life

End semester break---- LONG and long…. Around 2 months.
I’m the one not really like holiday. Holiday will make me think a lot.

This time my holiday life is very different compare with last time. My holiday life was just busy in working. I felt lucky to get the chance work at there. I learn a lot; besides teaching I learn good values and some knowledge. One of my boss is a strong positive thinking person, He always encourage us tend to positive way. He likes lecturing us.

One night he lecturing us again, some of he talks makes me felt touched. From there, I realize I really tired already, I already forget what happy is. I start wondering a lot, if I suddenly change something, izit all the people I care can accept my changing. But I also will try to change something, because I want create magic in my life. I want let the people I care feel it too. I hope they can understand. I need to put down something already, I can’t care too much. If not it will influence my performance.

For those are understand me and care me, I’m really sorry if I hurt you before. Maybe sometimes my over caring for you will burden you. I really tired already, I scared my heart can’t handle too much. The only right way I should choose is love myself first. I need to find my own happiness first just can from my happiness bring my caring and loving for you all.

I knew some of you think I’m stupid, coz I never think myself first. Don’t worry; I will try to find out my own happiness. Thanks a lot for someone change my world a lot. I appreciate it all the times.

Meaningless/ Meaningful Life

LIFE!! How to explain?? Everyone have different perception on life.. For me, life is full of challenge, get hurt; love; caring and ……. Around 21 years of my life, full of sadness and happiness. Although sadness more than happiness, but it’s good for me to grow up. When I felt down, life really meaningless for me, and no one can give the answer I want. –sigh- That’s all because of my thinking, I keep locking my heart and stubborn. That’s why I can’t find the answer I looking for.

I get lose from my weird thinking and stubborn attitude. Life really meaningless, why I can’t satisfy what I had done and what I get in my hand?! Why I keep thinking my life is meaningless?! Why I want escape life?! Why I so stupid and not appreciate at all?! Actually I really tried hard for my meaningless life, I tried to stand up when I face problems… But feel tired already when my life keeps occurring problems. I no qualified to live, really no.. Should I give up?!!

NO!! Absolutely NO!! Life is just like a piece of paper. At first we get a blank paper and that paper is full of words and pictures at the end of ours life. That paper can reflect what we get in ours life is. That paper is not just has one color but is colorful. Life is like the colorful paper full of happiness and sadness. We learn from ours mistake and problems. The important of life is depend on ours thinking and heart. Don’t give up easily; don’t just always stand one side to face problem, problem can be flexible; don’t scared problem, problem can bring you up.

If we don’t have someone we care or someone care us, life would be more meaningless. Everyone needs caring from others, (SYMBIOSIS); if you hope others care and love you, you should do first, and we should open ours heart to accept and really giving caring. Don’t care too much; don’t expect what can get back when we pay out. Try to imagine if you just expect get caring from others and you no do anything. Someone care you and want share your feeling but you lock your heart. Can you get real caring or not? Can you feel what is real or not? I just can say that life is meaningless. 21st century, I felt disappointed for people’s heart, majority are selfish, just know bring benefit for himself/herself. –sigh- really disappointed. What’s type of heart!! Bloody(*).. My heart really pain for that situation. I hate people use others, I hate some people hurt the people I care. Anyway, I just accept and try my best to change it and protect people I care. Life is live in symbiosis situation, we need to care and appreciate others.

Life is unpredicted; we can’t predict what happen on next second. We don’t know when we leave. Don’t always complain life or something we don’t like. Don’t hold negative thinking in life, forget sadness and appreciate what we have (especially ours family and people we love and care). “Nothing is impossible, the important is just believe”. I really hope people I care have happy and meaningful life.. Bless you all!! Thanks God!!

“Special” Trip—(KuKup)

This is my last memory in semester2.

3rd & 4th of May 2009, me and a small group of coursemate had organized a trip to Kukup. ( :( less 3 members)

At first, I just thought Kukup is a simple fishing village. But there was not just a simple fishing village. For me, there was a special place, I’d enjoy at there. At there can felt natural things, can hear natural sound… beautiful sky, really beautiful… comfortable wind… and so on…

This is a view I enjoy to contemplate something. Through the sea and other natural things, I can think a lot and flashback a lot (happy and sad moment with someone, life, future and so on). I’m sorry sister and who else had worry me on that time. I felt down on that time, really sorry. Luckily I can cheer up after that moment. I feel my emotional feeling is really terrible and lost a lot of happiness. Anyway, because of someone and my future, I’ll try my best to control it.

I think Kukup is a suitable place for family or a group of friends to relax and enhance relationship between each other.

If We Hold on Together

Don't lose your way
When each passing day
You've come so far, don't throw it away
Live believing, dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope, and glory
Hold to the truth in your heart
If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by for you and I
Souls and the wind must learn how to bend
Seek out a star, hold on to the end
Valley, mountain, there is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying, someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay
If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by for you and I
When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone
If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by for you and I

Good morning, my dearest dinosaurs and the people I care.. Sis/PJ/Old man/Ducky want let you all know, life is full of challenge. If we face any problems or fail in any fields, please listen this song “IF WE HOLD ON TOGETHER”, try to understand the meaning of this song. It’s pretty meaningful. Anything if we hold on together sure can solve it. Don’t be scared, failure will make us better and improve ourselves. Sky won’t dark forever; won’t raining forever; won’t light forever and so on.. In the same way, life is not easy forever or hard. Life can describe like the taste of food- sour, sweet, bitter, and spicy.

Spike, although you look like blur all the times, but I know you are lack of confident. Believe yourself, ok? The other four dinosaurs will support you. Try your best to do everything. Just share your feelings with us if you get confuse. Spike for this century is already can talk and share her feeling NOT just keep eating.. (ha ha … just kidding) :@

Petrie, you are the one most calm and can be the model (besides talkative and ADHD :-D) in dinosaur's family. But petrie, don’t forget you may share your feelings too. Petrie always flies here flies there and talk a lot also will feel tired, right?? And will get confuse in some problems too. So, I hope you know what the right way is.

Xiao Niu, I think you are the one most understand the meaning of this song. Xiao Niu is a powerful leader in this dinosaur’s family. But for this century, because the environment of your growing step, LittleFoot become high in nACH.. For me, achievement is important, but if you put too high will make you feel stress and scared. Anyway, I can understand you, so I will always support you. Remember how hard of your life still got four mignon dinosaurs accompany you. We try our best to achieve our dreams, ok? :-)

Sister, you are the one I don’t know how to express.. haha … coz I really got a lot want talk with you and share with you. Anyway I don’t want “cheong hei” here.. Remember I’ll stand by you.. :-P

Lling, although we seldom meet each other, but I know you also can do it. Don’t worry for life, still have someone really care you and will stand by you. Believe me, you can find and meet real friend in your life. Try your best.

And lastly for the others I care especially my family, please try your best and don’t give up easily. Life is really quite interesting and fun. If you can walk with someone you like, your life will be more colorful. Let us hold on together until the end of life. Hope our dreams come true..

Touching day-- 感动的一日

21-03-2009 10.42PM

今天是我二十一岁生日，小时候就很期待这一日的到来，因为我的生日日期和岁数是同样--- 21 。。。一直以来期待的今日终于到来了，但近日课业实在是太忙碌了，由于不能回自己的家乡庆祝及忙得让自己期待的日子也没什么心情了。。凌晨开始，电话就不断陆陆续续有不少祝福语送来，把我从刚进入的温暖被单给挖了出来回复致谢。。直到接近一点终于进入我那甜美的梦乡。。今早，电话再次响起，哇！！又有祝福语到来。。。在走出门外那刻，咦！！好漂亮与特别的卡片贴在门口，但我还得去刷牙。。一切准备好了，是时候专心看看这两张卡片，原来是我疼爱的妹妹与小牛亲手制造的卡片，好特别啊！！！ 我真的很感动看到她们浓浓的心意。。。

享受与观看完她们的心思，我得去 Group Discussion 了， 结束之后我们出外吃午餐。。 咳！！好累啊！！我得赶紧回去好好睡一觉了。。。 好享受的午觉，醒来之后不久，是时候冲凉了。。。冲完之后，是时候去送香蕉给她们吃。。秀芬也一块陪我 步入她们（ 雁冰与淑珍）的房里，一阵香味阴面飘来。。。。。突然，哇！！！一班朋友（小牛，瑪莉，雪忆，颖莹及晓慧）坐在里面等我，她们为我准备我喜爱的面线，好感动啊！！！ 吃完之后，正要与德威和瑞荣出去，晓慧捧了一碗热腾腾的绿豆汤来，原来那是我的小妹（慧玲），她与颖莹煲的。。

是时候出去了，这两个老朋友原来还那么有我的心，为我准备我喜爱的蛋糕及我需要的热饮料。。今天也非常的满足了，好感动。。。吃完之后，他们说要去兜风，要我带他们去走走，我就试着带他们。。接着，他们竟然要我带路去我不熟悉的火涡店，哎呀，我果然是忘了怎么去了。。他们还是不放弃，我们继续再找。。皇天不负有心人！！终于找到了…. 他们竟说要上厕所并要问一个人多少钱，我只好陪他们走去，谁知我竟然看见好熟悉的背影，那不就是我那班朋友吗！！原来他们一早就串通起来了！！！这一幕令我好感动啊！！！泪水在眼里打滚着，我爱你们。。。你们实在是太有心了，制造了那么多惊喜给我。。我永远都会记得你们的。。谢谢你们为我带来的一切惊喜与这难忘的回忆.．．: )

Unforgettable and touching day, 21 March is my birthday. From midnight my hp already busy to received greeting message from my “old” friends.. Felt touched to receive all the messages. At least some of them still remember my birthday. Thank you..

Unfortunately in the same day got one important group discussion (English), so my mood quite nervous. But, after I woke up and before brush my tooth, when I open my door got two unique cards paste on my door. I thought that just my illusion. But it’s really two birthday card there. Thanks my dearest sister and Xiao Niu, you guys still spent time make unique card for me.

After group discussion we took lunch in Taman U. I felt tired so went back take a nap and took a shower bathed. After that, I went to gave banana for my friends. After I enter the room, that room filled of food smell and darkness. …… Actually they already cooked “mi sua” waiting for me. Happy to enjoy it, although the “ mi sua” overcooked. Ha ha.. Anyway, thank you Petrie.

After finished eaten, I went out with two form 5 classmate, I felt happy and touched again, coz both of them still remember my birthday and bought my favourite cake for me. Thank you Swee Yong and Teck Wee.. After that, they said still early and wanted me guide them to Tun Aminah. Oh, my god. I had a long time no go that shop already. Haiz, they asked me tried the best to find it, finally we found it. One of them said want go toilet, the other one said want ask price for each person. So I terpaksa follow them.

This time I touched again coz my dearest friends already waiting me at there. They give me this big surprise and make my heart touched until crying. Lastly, for my 21st birthday I really really felt happy and touched. Thanks again for all my friends and my family.

From my dearest sister

From Mignon Xiao Niu

My dearest dinosaurs’ friends

First, same sentence again—time pass very fast.. In semester 2, loves really come through my life. I think I’m the lucky one, for this semester I can felt extremely caring and loving from my dinosaurs’ friends. I really learn a lot in this semester. And the happiest is I already can cry. My heart reopens again. I dare to express my feeling and share my pains and happiness with them. You guys really change a lot of my life. I am more independent, more kind-hearted. Because of you guys, I share all my happiness through this special blog (for me).

My pains
Still remember that night, someone talks really hurt me a lot. I think that was my suffering night, cried more than two hours, slept less than three hours. And the next day I just left a soul flies to everywhere. Luckily got you guys support me and giving courage for me. Thanks a lot and a lot. For that person hurt me before, here I just can say sorry if got hurt you before. You are my friend forever in my heart. Because of LOVE so I get hurt. Anyway, you really still is my friend, anything just find me.

Back to happiness
Here, I would like to introduce my dearest dinosaurs’ friends..

First, My dinosaurs’ leader—LITTLEFOOT

The leader and "heart" of the group, LITTLEFOOT is a curious, bright and sensitive longneck. He has a positive attitude, and encourages the rest of the group to work together. Littlefoot is contemplative and quiet, though he enjoys playing, and often becomes leader in any quest. Littlefoot is very caring of his friends, and acts as both their leader and the voice of guidance among them. Littlefoot is a modest, intelligent, playful longneck who, despite his traumatic upbringing, believes that friendship goes beyond species boundaries.


CERA

The "tough kid" of the group is a proud, headstrong and an emotionally guarded three-horn. Her pride is constantly getting her into trouble. CERA does actually have a sweet and gentle side, but she tries hard not to let it show.
Cera tries her best to show no fear, often bragging about her accomplishments and courage. She has difficulty showing weakness, a trait that her father has largely ingrained in her. Her lessons frequently revolve around not jumping to conclusions, especially in judgement of other dinosaurs.

PETRIE

He is a loyal friend, however, and will show his bravery once in a while, especially when LITTLEFOOT and his other good friends are in trouble! If his friends need help, the character usually pulls through for them. Although he enjoys flying, he was afraid to do so in the original film; despite the embarassment it brought on for him. He is talkative too.

SPIKE

SPIKE may not say anything, but he does munch a lot. SPIKE is always eager to lend a tail, or his back, when one of his friends needs a leg up to get to a high branch.

And the last one- mignon DUCKY (just kidding)

DUCKY is one of the most affectionate and caring dinosaurs of all. She is sensitive to a fault, and loves her friends unconditionally. DUCKY is a loyal friend and companion who will always think of others before herself!
Ducky: “yup yup yup, je suis mignon.”
Others: //= = “ nope nope nope.”

Hahaha….

Nothing is impossible, the important is just believe. Especially "if we hold on together".

For the rest (7 members), I hope you guys can join us too. We may have a wonderful dinosaurs' family.

Finally, thanks again for my dearest dinosaurs' friends.. Miss you guys a lot..

Memory in first semester

I felt sad, because of someone so I hard to express my happiness in first semester already. Actually my first semester filled of fun and happiness. But I really don’t know how to express that feeling because my mind confusing now, I just can post some of the happiness and unforgettable photos. For those got join such activities together, I think all of u can feel the happiness too..

MHS in KTR hall. That time too free and bored so take 38 photos together.

Mid-autumn Festival

Video for first semester

First day In UTM

29 June 2008, My first day in UTM. After accompanied mother to market and took breakfast. My father, mother, sister and brother-in-law send me to my new house (UTM). On the way to UTM, I felt nervous and imagined a lot. After exit toll, we just follow sign of UTM. Yeah, finally we saw front door of UTM. Wau that is a crowded place and big, got a few of guard control the situation and guided us to my hostel (KTR).

After reached KTR, I felt confused by the way. There had a few of counter need ‘visit’ to register. Some of the ejen friendly and some look scary. After registered, I found my block and room. At first, I thought my roommate already in the room, so I felt nervous to open the door, but no one in the room. Then I busy to clean the room and arranged my stuffs. Suddenly, “bom” ….. someone open the door. One look like very mature and dressing sexy clothes enter my room. I felt shock and scared. Oh no, that is my roommate. A big difference compare with my imagination. After that, got another girl enter, kampong look (formal dressing and tidy hair). Ooo, actually that one is my roommate. But my mood still nervous and shy, so I just show her my serious face and no dare to smile with her at all. (sorry, siew fen.. hope u can understand).

She just keep her things in her cupboard and leave, so I also no chance communicate with her. ……. After that, already the time for my parents to leave and back. I said good bye with them and alone walk back to room. Before enter room, one tall girl suddenly asked me a question, when I want smile with her, suddenly she said “later wear casual ah?”, her question really scared me, because I never imagined in University is using English to communicate. I show her my serious look and said wear collar shirt. From my serious look scared her too. (until now she haven’t forget my first impression), sorry Yen Pin, I think u also can understand me and forgive my first impression. Ha ha..

And lastly, we went KTR hall to gathered and hear boring talk until 11 sth.. ….. my first day in UTM over already..

Introduction of my blog

Finally I success to create my blog.. This blog postponed one semester already. Too busy in semester 2.. –sigh- But I felt happy for my busy life. In semester 2 busy like a bee, everyday busy in assignment, test, activities and so on. I like the life like that, especially enjoy everything with my dearest friends. Time really pass very fast, I already finish my first year life in UTM. Until now, I still can remember every single part of my life from there.

University’s life very different if compare with my life before. This is another important turning point in my life. I felt very happy and lucky for this turning point. In my university’s life, I know what love is and can feel it all the times.

For this blog, I need to flashback my memory for two semesters. I want to post all of my unforgettable memory, so for those read my blog, please don’t get confusing. After I post all of my memory for two semesters, I ll continue post all unforgettable memory or turning point in my life.